The Wages, An Illustrated Story | 23. Songs and Parables | The Garden of Harassment
In the crowd milling around at the festival, a couple of guys saw me trying to be affectionate with Joanne. I didn’t even kiss her, but it got these two upset.
“Did you see that Ross? They’re lezbos,” said the first.
“More dykes playing my beloved country music, it isn’t right,” said the guy who must have been Ross.
The first guy yelled at me, “Hey baby! Go to church and read the Bible! It’s Adam and Eve, not Eve and Steve!”
“Fuck, sober up, Bill,” said Ross to him, laughing. “You’re supposed to say Adam and Steve.”
“Bah, you get it. The whole thing gets me screwed up. Doesn’t make sense. She just needs a little convincing. Hasn’t done it with the right guys.”
“OK, you got that right. But hey, look on the bright side man, maybe you could have a threesome with both of ‘em!”
“Or a foursome, what do ya say, buddy? They look like the type that could take it,” said Bill loudly at me, elbowing Ross.
I thought it was funny how these guys’ conversation came around so quickly to the idea of both of them getting all naked and horny together. I considered pointing this out to them, but sized them up and thought that might be unwise. I took a breath and headed off through the doorway to the building attached to the bandshell. Why does it so often happen that everybody from my ex to random strangers think that I am their gateway to orgy sex?